(no subject)

long grueling dream about my dad — my sister and i dealing with him in his older age. we would visit him and leave the house devastated, over and over, each time for a different reason. we'd test his memory with basic questions and he would fail after telling delusional stories. we'd each have a moment alone with him and he'd touch us inappropriately, having forgotten who we were. ultimately it was discovered he was gay and had been having affairs with other men all along. but then also a pedophile who'd preyed on my nephew, and me (explaining the reason i'd always had urinary tract infections as a baby.) we'd sob at the airport and leave to separate planes, always returning for more trauma as the dream went on. so much pain always right there under the surface.